Back Home Again In Indiana

This is a link to a website formed by students, and student groups at Notre Dame to protest the appearance the President of these Untied States at their graduation.

All sorts of things are going through my head, now. Not the least of them is the fact that…as far as I know…no one at the New York Times and its ilk, or CNN, and the newsworks, has yet spent much time on this.  But then, I stopped paying attention to them a long time ago.  It interfered with my digestion.

I can see this happening: the White House quietly informing the Reverend President Father Quisling (or is his name more appropriately Judas) of Notre Dame that it is very sorry to have to cancel the Great Reverser’s appearance; and the vast Boobocracy really knowing little to nothing about this. After all, who wants folks praying…on their knees and with those little strings of beads, yet…that His Hopefulness stops killing people. It just doesn’t look good. One wishes, sometimes, that Catholics would simply stop these silly standings around on principle.  They are so out of step and out of place in a society built on hope and change.

I say I can see it happening, but I don’t think it will happen.  The fools who run what used to be called Catholic schools have no honor, and little enough of faith.  Oh, they have an awful lot of intelligence, enough to look over at their secular neighbors and notice how business is conducted, there.  Why not do the same?  Why not “sell” the sizzle and not the steak?  And so they invite the functional equivalent of a serial murderer to tea and broadcast proudly, “Why we are just as good as they are, young sheep in the meadow.  We have Presidents to lunch.  Do come and join us.”

So, they are probably on the phone to some eager coat brusher and door holder in the White House Sub-Basement, the fellow who is in charge of the White House Office for the Subornation of Presidents of Supposedly Catholic Colleges (next to the space that holds toilet paper).  “Umm, Sherwood,” they are saying, “we seem to have a problem, here.  A few of the holdovers from the faculty, old dinosaurs and about ten or fifteen students are complaining that we should have invited someone with a more orthodox perspective on some issues affecting our, umm, faith interestes, than His Supreme Hopefulness.  Please, please, be assured that isn’t the way we feel about the matter.  But, what may one do, academic freedom and all that, don’t you know.”

“Not to worry at all your most Reverend President.  I am completely aware of the situation.  We do not expect that all will see eye to eye with President Obama’s hopes for America.  We love Notre Dame and all Catholic Schools, and we need them, and you, too.  You should speak to Father Julian, president of Kissling College about this.  His solution is to allow them their praying where praying should be done, at the chapel, near the gym; well in back of it, where it won’t offend anyone.  As I was saying to Father Arius over at St. Smithwick’s College just the other day, the President welcomes open debate on the issues, and never wants to see anymore abortions than are absolutely necessary.”

“Well, that’s a great idea.  I can get the Dean of the School of Religious Interaction with the World to lead a prayer service at exactly the same time the president is speaking.  All bases will be covered.  How tolerant and diverse.”

“Go to Notre Dame,” I can hear the President’s advisers say.  “Sherwood, down in the OSPSCC says they’re prepared to lock everyone up who even thinks about saying anything out of order.  But, not to worry.  We’ve dealt with that silliness before and can handle it again.  You’re on top of the world, now.  You will impress the folks who spend big bucks on campaigns.  Say a few words…here I’ll write them. I’m Catholic and know what gets them in their hearts and wallets.  Say a few words about starving kids, the great contributions Catholics have made, how much you love the Pope (a good and humble man, may that always be the case); and don’t forget to use this phrase “family values”.  Make it your own.  If folks are on their knees praying, treat ’em nicely.  Oh, man this is great TV!  Look down and point to them.  Then say, “I respect these people praying and want them to know I believe everything they believe.  That’s why I came here to tell you that I am working to bring about the hope of life and health for all Americans, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Muslim and unbeliever, alike!”  They’ll carry you out on their shoulders.

Better still…  Oh, man this is sooooo great!  Make it the occasion for an announcement that on the date of the first verified cure of a disease by the use of embryonic stem cells…who knows when, that doesn’t matter…you’ll begin construction of a monument on the Mall to the memory of all of those brave embryos who sacrificed their lives so that the rest of us could live disease free, and we’ll have an Embryo Remembrance Day just for them, parades, bunting, speeches, tears of cured folks who’ll give public thanks for the brave little souls.”

“I like that,” he’ll say.  “Michelle will want to bring the girls, too.  Kids love parades.  Get me Pelosi and Dodd on the phone.  They’ll love this”

I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or throw up.

What a change…


2 responses to “Back Home Again In Indiana

  1. Great! “Fr. Quisling” is good.

  2. Bravo, well done, you have almost reached the top!!!!!

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