Soft As A Baby’s B***

Oh, the many wonders of modern science and technology!

Here’s a story that would have been more appropriate on Halloween when the full moon gazed more or less peacefully on all the little ones in their clever costumes wandering up and down the street, Mom’s and Dad’s standing guard in the night, neighbors at the door smiling…

Over in Switzerland, land of cheese, watches, yodeling and off shore tax hideaways there’s also a pretty important pharmaceutical industry.  I know this because I have a friend who works in one of them “big pharma” companies called Pfizer.  I think “puh-fizer” is a Swiss company, as a matter of fact.  One of my nieces works for Pfizer, too.  My friend is a marketing/development guy.  My niece is an engineer.  He’s in Indiana and she’s in Connecticut.

This is, like I said, a big deal company.  I mention all of this about my friend and my niece as a matter of full disclosure.  I also want to let you know that “the rest of the story” has nothing to do with Pfizer, as far as I can tell. There’s another company called NEOCUTIS over there.  That has an awful lot to do with the “ROTS”.  Funny how those initials spell that word, ain’t it?

Not too many days ago those of us who still have any sense left celebrated something called the feast of All Souls.  On that day, the Office for the Dead is the official prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours.  One of the readings for Mass is the same as one of the readings for a funeral.  It begins, “The souls of the just are in the hands of God.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah..!  Well, that’s nice, and so on.

Because you see, thanks to the folks over in Switzerland, who are practical scientists and really interested in what happens now, not that hands of God malarkey, we have great hopes of having our great hope realized.  That is the great hope of never growing old, no wrinkles, no botox, no face lifts, no…fill in the blank.  It’s all of a sudden become a Peter Pan world, without alligators, savage Inidans and maleficent Pirate captains.  Makes me want to shout, “Wendys of the world, unite!”

Travel to the NEOCUTIS web site and read all about the breakthrough in skin care and wound treatment that’ll leave the skin of the person exposed to this wonder with skin as the title of this little exposition suggests, and smooth as one, too.  I can hear all the day spa addicts saying, “Oooh!!  Now if they could just invent something to take care of sag.”

We used to believe that we were creatures of time, and signs of age were to be honored and respected.  What was it old Bill Shakespeare said, “Our little lives are rounded with a sleep?”  And way long before him, some wandering Jew moaned that our lives are “seventy years or eighty.., and most of these are emptiness and pain?”  Poor slobs, that they were born and died when they did.  That’s all so 1560’s and before.

Too bad, too, that guys like Marx, Hegel and Nietzsche, never lived long enough to see their hopes…well some of them, for the right folks at the right price…fulfilled.  The first two would recognize this as just another sign of the inevitable progress of man to perfection, and the other guy, the wing-nut, would see it as merely power doing what power is supposed to do; all that super-man stuff overcoming.  Who needs God!  They’d love it!

Philosophy and science have united for the perfection of man and the completion of history…in a little while, anyway.

NEOCUTIS, over there in the mountains among the watches and yodelers, is a relatively new company.  A few scientists, doctors and money guys got together when the folks at the labs in the University of Lausanne discovered something and figured that had found the Fountain of Youth; a not unattractive thought which keeps occurring to the race.

Here’s what they say about it on their own web-site:


A recent anti-aging study showed that Bio-restorative Skin Cream with PSP® significantly helps to reduce signs of skin aging.

PSP® contained in Bio-restorative Skin and Eye Cream helps to improve the appearance of aged skin by providing the most complete and balanced combination of human growth factors and cytokines currently available.

Anti-Aging Study

After only two months of twice daily use of Bio-restorative Skin Cream with PSP™, 83% of subjects showed improved appearance of wrinkles in eye area and 50% of subjects showed improved appearance of wrinkles in mouth area.

Role of PSP® in anti-aging

Recent studies suggest that aged or photoaged skin has the same needs as wounded skin, where growth factors and other cytokines interact synergistically to initiate and coordinate the wound healing response.

Aging of Skin

Human skin, like all other organs, undergoes chronological aging. In addition, unlike most other organs, skin is in direct contact with the environment and therefore ages as a consequence of environmental damage. The primary environmental factor that causes human skin aging is ultraviolet irradiation from the sun. This sun-induced skin aging (called photoaging), like chronological aging, is a cumulative process. Aged and photo-aged skin manifests in fine and deep wrinkles, loss of elasticity, loss of translucency as well as in color and pigmentation changes.”

Ain’t that great!  I was curious about that PSP stuff and did a little digging around on the web site.  Finally I found out that PSP stands for “Processed Skin Cell Protein”.  It’s a cool thing they get when they drop a piece of skin into something, and do something else to it, and then put that stuff in jars, or dishes and bake, or boil or just wait.  That’s science in a nutshell.

“Yeah, well,” you perceptively ask, “where does the skin come from?”  According to the website, the skin which was the source of all of this goodness was “donated”.  As a matter of fact it was a “one time donation”.

“Who was compassionate enough of his fellow man to make such a donation, salvific in nature if ever a donation there was?”  Well, umm, it was a fetus, umm, that is a “terminated” fetus, as the saying goes.  And, well, the fetus itself didn’t actually donate its skin for the cause.  The doctors asked the people who donated the dead thing if they could have the skin.

It sort of reminds me of a Thanksgiving turkey being carved, you know?  “Who wants some skin?”  Dad always asked that question.  The turkey being dead had no real say in the matter; sort of like the fetus, here.

Of course this “fetal termination”, the NEOCUTIS folks are at pains to say, was necessary for some reason or other involving something or other vaguely named deformity or difficulty or danger or, perhaps?…we need some skin.  Nah, that’d never happen.  Anyway, look what’s come of it all.

Wrinkles and scars on flesh disappear with a wipe or two of their lotion or potion or salve.  No one thinks about the wrinkles or scars all that stuff creates on the soul.

What soul?

I’ve been thinking about Mary Shelley since I read about this.  Did you know she got the first ideas about her novel “Frankenstein” while she was in Switzerland?  I wonder if it’s the water?


5 responses to “Soft As A Baby’s B***

  1. james f. mullan

    What is the use of PSP when you are 88 or 91 or even 75? Does it help you score with the opposite [or same sex]? At that point, the other organs, bones, etc. are still old and not functioning as well as those of a 25 year old. PSP, gruesomely, is like painting another coat of whitewash on the old sepulchre. The human body declines over time. An unwrinkled face on a 90 year old is incongruous,silly even,when the internal substance continues on its merry way to death.

    There, I’ve uttered the fearful word-DEATH. We’re all going to do it, wrinkled or smooth skinned, no matter how well we delude ourselves into believing that we can stay forever young and despite all the ads which tell us we can fend off aging: DEATH COMES TO ALL. IT’S HARD, BUT FAIR.

    • The image of whitened sepulchre was one of the very first that came to my mind while thinking about the wonders of PSP. I also thought of what a mockery the whole thing makes of life.

      You are quite correct. Death is, perhaps the most fair thing that will occur in our lives; whenever it happens on us.

      It is something we should spend more time thinking about.

      Thank you for your comment.

  2. I believe nothing makes a person look so old as the attempt to look young. Consider the face lifts so common on television [Barbara Walters, anyone?].

    • There are some who must no longer have skin on their feet from having everything lifted so much. Been reading “Christ and Apollo” as I was asked to do forty some odd years ago. It wouldn’t have meant a thing to me, then. It does now, though, particularly in light of this vain (in the several meanings of the word) effort to overcome the progress of time…which is, I think, the whole purpose of that political movement which has christened itself “Progressive”…them having finally realized how mendacious was the adjective liberal when applied to their ideas.

      Progressive is, if anything, self delusional in its application, here; a fine name to call themselves and about the only truth in their whole program.

  3. I don’t rightly know if it is really okay to use words like ‘discipline’, ‘self-denial’ and ‘meditation’, especially in public. But here goes.

    Remember LSD? Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Personally I think this whole this is a mortal sin gone to riot. To whit, viz, lust. The desire for an outcome without paying the price of that outcome. Contemplative dizzy phases without fasting or confession or prayer at all really. Lust. Any old paper doll will do, no mess, no relationship to confuse the issue and produce babies.

    Dear me. I appear to be using a lot of bad words here. Perhaps i should amble off without remembering the elderly english gentleman who sold pharmeceuticals, and then left because he couldn’t bring himself morally to be selling death. There were those who thought he was an old fool. He might have been a wealthy man. He might still be in his grave of course. But he might have been worth something for all that.

    Then again. What if he is worth something just as he is. What price, I wonder, could any of us get away without paying, to gain eternal youth

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