They Know Only How To Die

After Saturday’s deluge of rain brought with it a deluge of leathery oak leaves I gave thanks to God that the sky began to clear on Sunday afternoon.  I waited a bit to be sure and then went outside to rake up the forty-nine tons of leaves which the rains had persuaded would be better off on my lawn than in their trees before they turned to coal by Spring…which from this perspective seems as if it will be a few billion years from now.  That’s more than enough time to make oak leaves become coal.   Though where oak leaves are concerned I could be off by a few dozens of million years.

Maurice Bedard happened by with his grandson, Ambrose, and we talked for a while about the leaves of oak trees.  They endure.  He tried, he said, to turn them into mulch once a long time ago.  He had a spot in his back yard that he used for a leaf dump.  Gave them a few years, he did, to age and turn into rich loam.


All he got was layered oak leaves.  I could have told him as much.  They’re so tough you could shingle a roof with them.

Well, I said goodbye to Maurice and Ambrose betimes and got me back to oak leaves.  While turning to the last pile I felt a sharp rap on my head.  I was under the neighbor’s tall white oak whose leave I was gathering into the trash can even as the acron fell and hit me.

I had a flash of anger at the injustice of it all.  The blessed thing hurt, having fallen a good seventy or eighty feet I figured, and I hadn’t done a thing, I figured, to deserve the unkindness.  While I finished I thought about that random act of nut hard oaken cruelty.


For the past couple of days there’s been a lot of news about the decision to move a bunch of sub-human savages from their tropical paradise in the Caribbean to the town that I call home, there to stand trial for dreaming up and helping to carry out an unprovoked sneak attack on that place and others.  Their success in that venture was preceded by others over the previous years, but that one was the biggest and the best, they no doubt thought; and still think as they plot, plan and hate.  And, if my figures are correct followed by about 14 some odd thousand others, since.  But, who cares, really?

I refer, of course, to Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and several other dirt balls who are soon to be moved from Guantanamo Bay, where they langushed (I’ll leave the typo.  I like its nuance.) under a tropical sun, with every creature comfort…including Swine Flu (oops, don’t want to offend either pigs or Muslims) vaccine…supplied them, to New York City to stand trial in Federal Court there for the 9/11 attack.  This is a result of President Obama’s decision to close Guantanamo because he is convinced that these guys are merely murderers and not, as is well known, soldiers in the army of an enemy at war with the United States.

What??!!  Are you nuts??  These guys soldiers in an army?  Whose army, what Nation?

My simple answer to that is the answer they would give, and probably have given, the Dar Al Islam, which translates as the Assembly, Country, Nation (pick a group noun) of Islam.  They are, and have been since the first rabid horde of Muslim missionaries, lead by the Prophet himself (“peace be upon him”) slaughtered the first bunch of innocents who weren’t smart or quick enough to drop to their knees and face the black stone out there in the desert.  Their opponents, their enemies, are anyone left standing, the Dar Ul Haq (I hate their spelling), the Nation of War.

Don’t forget it.

Well, unless you happen to be the President of these Untied States, his Attorney General, and anyone who reports for a major news outlet or teaches school anywhere in the country at any level.  Then not only are you to forget, you are, moreover, obliged to offer apologies for forcing them to act against you in the way they act.  Also, you might just wish to explain to the folks who simply cannot understand these subtleties, that they have every good reason to burn, bomb and murder everyone in sight.

Because, despite the truth of the matter, and the facts in the case, these guys simply do what they do because we make them do it, and have been making them do it for 1400 years.  And all the while, as the President is quick to remind us, they have simply been trying to preserve what is best of our own civilization, principles, and values; among which are slavery, random acts of murder, piracy, honor killing, torture, public execution, kidnapping and wife beating.

It’s all our fault, really, for not saying, “There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his prophet.”  What’s any simpler than that?

Well, at least they’ll get a fair trial.  We’ll spend millions hiring the best attroneys in the country to defend them, and they’ll be prosecuted by darn good attorneys.  More than likely some of the attorneys on the prosecution team will have simply crossed the street to DOJ after having worked at the same firm where the AG used to work to get them transferred from the evil prison to The Apple.

That’s good, you know, because things will move faster, and be more friendly.  We like it when we can get along with folks.  Rodney King, who is a saint, I think, said that you know, about just getting along.  So, the prosecutors might say something like this to the defense attorneys, “No need, Bill, to file all those pre-trial discovery motions.  Here’s the stuff you need.  Those dirty Army and CIA guys really violated the rights of your guys, and we intend to prosecute the daylights out of ’em.  But we can’t until you introduce all of this unfairness during a real honest to goodness criminal trial.  So hurry up.”

Then, the judge will declare a mis-trial and set ’em all free, or maybe he’ll sentence ’em sentence ’em to probation since it’s just their first mass murder on American soil and most of the evidence was thrown out.  “Don’t forget to check in with your probation officer, boys, before you leave the jurisdiction, and, no pilot training.”

“Now, bring me those guards and those secret agents.  We’ll show them what justice is!”

That’s what’s probably not gonna happen, I hope.  What will happen, though I don’t think so, is that they all get convicted of plotting to kill thousands of folks, burn ’em to death.  Then, what  I think would only be fair is that we put ’em in a plane and send it out over the ocean on auto-pilot, all 3,000 miles, with 300 miles of fuel.

Alternatively, we could put  ’em in a nice glass house at what has come to be know as Ground Zero, where they couldn’t ever get out, but where we could come by and tell them what we thought of them.  That would hurt them a lot more, because these guys, they know only how to die.  Just ask them.


The acorn?  I found it after dodging one or two more.  At least, I think it was the one.  I crushed it; without a trial.


2 responses to “They Know Only How To Die

  1. You must put a layer of dirt between layers of leaves [or other organic cuttings – grass, for example].

    • This knew, Gabriel, and I hope my friend Maurice found out eventually. He’s French-Canadian, though, and if you think Poles and Swedes and what-alls are stubborn you have not met one of them.

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