Underpants Bomb

So, if this guy Abbadabbadoomullet from Nigeria sets off the bomb in his shorts about 250 people…and him…don’t get to have a Merry Christmas.  But, it fizzles.  There’s a thousand jokes in that pair of shorts.

Now, there is.  But, what if…???  Well, it rains body parts all over Detroit.  They get a red Christmas instead of a white one.

I read a story that a nice couple were on that flight on their way home from Ethiopia with two kids they’d just adopted, and their natural daughter is coming back with them, too.

“So sorry, kids, but I gotta catch a plane to martyrdom and my 77…or however many..virgins.  It’s all about God, you know, and getting straight with my personal, umm, savior.  Yum.  Yum.”  In the story I read, the Mom says they held hands for a few minutes there when things looked like it was for real, and prayed, and stuff.  They even sang a hymn while awaiting being blown out of the sky.  “We were ready, ” Mom said, “but I thought how sad it was for the children.”  What else could you expect.  Christian martyrs pray.  Muslim martyrs commit murder.

Our Dummy-in-Chief seizes the moment after the news hits the fan to say he’s ordered everyone to look alert.  This is the guy who thinks that these crumb-bums are merely criminals and should be tried in federal court and allowed all of the protections the Constitution gives crooks.  “Don’t worry about a thing, Muckdope.  The Imam knows the American president’s heart.  You’ll get a nice cell near the court house, a quick trial and we’ll get you back in a year or two, when they figure you’re just a misguided youth.  Back here in Yemen, we know different.”

Yemen’s  what some folks are calling the “new Afghanistan”, and not because opium is a cash crop in Yemen.  The two guys who head up the group who sent the Underpants Bomber on his mission graduated from Guantanamo.  After their graduation, thanks to some sharp lawyers and dimwit federal judges, they went home to Yemen and took up their profession which is killing people.

You remember Guantanamo?  That’s where we put the most vicious bunch of …( well what I think they are I am too polite to say.)  But until the Prophet of Hope got into office we used to know them as terrorists and enemy combatants.  Now, they’re defendants.  And, guess what, you’re paying for their defense.  Anyway, we had them all where we wanted them in Guantanamo.  Until January 20, 2009, that is.

Now, we are about to give them the very best that money can buy in the American legal system; the few we haven’t already determined are safe to return home, like the two camel jockeys who sent Abbadabbadoomullet on his ride to glory.

Who cares if we lose a plane and a few hundred taxpayers here and there? We got three hundred some odd million here, don’t we?  Who’s gonna miss ’em?

The other thing President Chicken Neck says is that he wants an “overhaul” of security measures, and that he wants everyone to know we’re gonna “strike back”, whatever that means.  It’s all part of sounding presidential, I guess.  I’m impressed.  Ain’t you?

Someone mentioned in one of the articles I read about the Underpants Bomb that about the best defense against this thing is one or both of dogs or x-ray cameras.  You know, dogs sniffing your, umm, naughty bits, and cameras taking pictures through your clothes.

Oboober wants us to tighten up.

Fat chance!  The ACLU is all over this about both of them things being “invasions” of privacy.  The ACLU was all over Guantanamo being an invasion of the poor terrorist’s civil rights and due process and stuff like that.  This is the same ACLU that is all over anyone who talks about “profiling”, which is an obscene term your children should never hear you say..

Well, their cake may just be taken away from them before they can eat it.  They win about dogs and cameras, enough planes go down in flames and, sooner or later everyone in this country has a prayer rug, a beard and hates pornography and the ACLU (which loves pornography).

I have a solution for our current quandary, aside from surrendering that is, which it seems like we are about to do.  Anyone wanting to fly from anywhere to anywhere shows up nekkid and gets dressed after their luggage is searched.  Plus we give ’em the underwear.  That way, their privacy ain’t violated by canine perverts or sneaky x-ray cameras.  Oh, and anyone from a Muslim country gets a free colonoscopy; just in case.

That should make everyone happy.

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7 responses to “Underpants Bomb

  1. I know, its really kind of awful. N. looked like a deer caught in the headlights, not very convincing. And hello! his dad warned us and we did not get to it and yes, as you say, did not question that he had no luggage for a transatlantic flight! And then we ask him
    if he had a good rest at the hospital and how was he feeling? would you like a chocolate or perhaps a massage? ugh. I am aware of that flight (a pretty major route) and Schiphol airport, which does not seem, to me, to be that secure. Then there is flying out of Boston. El Al doesnt have a terminal there because they know they cant secure it. If the Israelis’ cant secure it, well…. then forget it…although i am sometimes tempted to use that airport despite. i guess we can just ask God for wisdom, and then just go on. Just no flying on any Christian or American holidays but probably safe on Ramadan. Who would have thought that during the cold war we would live to see the day when someone’s blood stained underwear was displayed during prime time and that people with unpronouncable names from hither-to-unknown countries would impact our basic life style.? Ah for the days of
    “duck and cover”… no wonder “retro midcentury” is all the rage. I wonder if the Queen feels threatened when they say she can become a muslim or get out of England. Quite.

    • You refer, of course, to Janet Napolitano, one of the most ill equipped people, besides His Hopefulness, for the job she presently occupies, or any job I would think…or any job. Even some Democrats are now saying she ought to be fired. I think she should stay; a more perfect example of the bankruptcy of tolerance and diversity of cultures, lifestyles, people, or whatever that liberals and progressives love so much could not be found. Such a mind set produces folks who think that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with allowing one’s enemy to move in next door, with denying the existence of any such thing as a world wide war against the west waged by a very determined and ruthless enemy, who has been at it for 1400 years.

  2. Thank you for the lively insights.
    Profiling is the only answer.
    All muslims are not terrorists, but so far, all terrorists are muslims.
    Americans would rather be inoffensive and dead, it seems, rather than smart and alive.

    • Please do not use the word “profiling”. This is a polite blog. Such words will result in, at the very least, the filing of a suit in some Federal court for the violation of some group’s civil rights.

      You will not get CAIR to agree that all terrorists are Muslims. From their point of view, there are no Muslim terrorists. Israelis are terrorists. Americans are terrorists. Danish newspaper cartoonists are terrorists. Muslims? What, are you nuts?

      Saying something like that makes you a profiler.

  3. Kathy McGlaughlin

    Interesting solution, to say the least. However, I do fear that some of showing up at an airport nekkid may be rather offensive.

  4. Kathy McGlaughlin

    Joking aside, I agree that not every Muslim is a terrorist; but I am beginning to lean toward the thought that every Muslim is an enemy, not necessarily of mine personally, but an enemy of Christianity. My dilemna is this: As a Christian I am called to love my enemies. I try not to hate Muslims, though I hate what some of them do. But the simple absence of hate is not love. What is required of me to love my enemy? Do I blind myself to the truth that he is an enemy? I don’t think so. Must I let him move in next door to me? That’s not so easy for me to answer. I would think I don’t have to let him move into my house; yet, if he was lying alongside the road, beaten, dying ….. do I just walk by?

    • Hello Kathy,

      Actually I didn’t think you were joking in your other comment, 🙂 . In any event, there was a kind of sub-text to my remark. Here, in the West and with the Judeo-Christian tradition being so foundational, we have (perhaps more in the breach than the observance, but, nonetheless…) we have a different view of the body, I think. Being in a line of a couple of thousand people waiting for their government issued underwear is a great equalizer, n’est ce pas?

      On your other point about enemies, etc. I do not think that the average Muslim thinks of the average non-Muslim as an “enemy”. If they think of them at all, they might think of them as lost souls. That may be very much the same as what the average Christianized westerner may think of the average Muslim. What may be done to help the “lost soul” be brought into the knowledge of the truth in each case is where the great divide begins.

      A Muslim is bred in the belief that thos who are non-believers are in some way a different species entirely. The believer is entitled to all the rights and privileges of another believer. The nin-believer, the infidel, may be treated as a dog, a slave, lied to, used and abused with impunity. One cannot, really, commit a crime against an un-believer.

      The only responsibility one has towards an unbeliever is to put the question to him, “Do you believe God is One and Allah is his prophet?” One is allowed to do so with a sword pointed at the other’s throat.

      That does not necessarily make a Muslim one’s enemy…unless and until there are enough Muslims around to take on the responsibility of holding swords.

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