So, if this guy Abbadabbadoomullet from Nigeria sets off the bomb in his shorts about 250 people…and him…don’t get to have a Merry Christmas. But, it fizzles. There’s a thousand jokes in that pair of shorts.
Now, there is. But, what if…??? Well, it rains body parts all over Detroit. They get a red Christmas instead of a white one.
I read a story that a nice couple were on that flight on their way home from Ethiopia with two kids they’d just adopted, and their natural daughter is coming back with them, too.
“So sorry, kids, but I gotta catch a plane to martyrdom and my 77…or however many..virgins. It’s all about God, you know, and getting straight with my personal, umm, savior. Yum. Yum.” In the story I read, the Mom says they held hands for a few minutes there when things looked like it was for real, and prayed, and stuff. They even sang a hymn while awaiting being blown out of the sky. “We were ready, ” Mom said, “but I thought how sad it was for the children.” What else could you expect. Christian martyrs pray. Muslim martyrs commit murder.
Our Dummy-in-Chief seizes the moment after the news hits the fan to say he’s ordered everyone to look alert. This is the guy who thinks that these crumb-bums are merely criminals and should be tried in federal court and allowed all of the protections the Constitution gives crooks. “Don’t worry about a thing, Muckdope. The Imam knows the American president’s heart. You’ll get a nice cell near the court house, a quick trial and we’ll get you back in a year or two, when they figure you’re just a misguided youth. Back here in Yemen, we know different.”
Yemen’s what some folks are calling the “new Afghanistan”, and not because opium is a cash crop in Yemen. The two guys who head up the group who sent the Underpants Bomber on his mission graduated from Guantanamo. After their graduation, thanks to some sharp lawyers and dimwit federal judges, they went home to Yemen and took up their profession which is killing people.
You remember Guantanamo? That’s where we put the most vicious bunch of …( well what I think they are I am too polite to say.) But until the Prophet of Hope got into office we used to know them as terrorists and enemy combatants. Now, they’re defendants. And, guess what, you’re paying for their defense. Anyway, we had them all where we wanted them in Guantanamo. Until January 20, 2009, that is.
Now, we are about to give them the very best that money can buy in the American legal system; the few we haven’t already determined are safe to return home, like the two camel jockeys who sent Abbadabbadoomullet on his ride to glory.
Who cares if we lose a plane and a few hundred taxpayers here and there? We got three hundred some odd million here, don’t we? Who’s gonna miss ’em?
The other thing President Chicken Neck says is that he wants an “overhaul” of security measures, and that he wants everyone to know we’re gonna “strike back”, whatever that means. It’s all part of sounding presidential, I guess. I’m impressed. Ain’t you?
Someone mentioned in one of the articles I read about the Underpants Bomb that about the best defense against this thing is one or both of dogs or x-ray cameras. You know, dogs sniffing your, umm, naughty bits, and cameras taking pictures through your clothes.
Oboober wants us to tighten up.
Fat chance! The ACLU is all over this about both of them things being “invasions” of privacy. The ACLU was all over Guantanamo being an invasion of the poor terrorist’s civil rights and due process and stuff like that. This is the same ACLU that is all over anyone who talks about “profiling”, which is an obscene term your children should never hear you say..
Well, their cake may just be taken away from them before they can eat it. They win about dogs and cameras, enough planes go down in flames and, sooner or later everyone in this country has a prayer rug, a beard and hates pornography and the ACLU (which loves pornography).
I have a solution for our current quandary, aside from surrendering that is, which it seems like we are about to do. Anyone wanting to fly from anywhere to anywhere shows up nekkid and gets dressed after their luggage is searched. Plus we give ’em the underwear. That way, their privacy ain’t violated by canine perverts or sneaky x-ray cameras. Oh, and anyone from a Muslim country gets a free colonoscopy; just in case.
That should make everyone happy.