He has let the other shoe drop. BOOM! It hit the floor and knocked loose a few chunks of plaster on me down here just sitting quietly watching nothing on one of the 500 available channels from All Silliness All the Time Satellite Direct to Me Anywhere. (I swear that it’ll only be a few years before some brilliant soul will be able to come up with a hard wire TV feed right into the brain..and only a few years after that the Supremes will rule that TV brain feeds are a a Constitutional Right protected under the First Amendment, and the surgery necessary to get one is allowable for free under our Universal Cradle to Grave…if you can get to the first and avoid the second long enough…Medical Care.)
And, while we are on the subject of Constitutional Rights, the dropped shoe above? That was all about The Great and Hopeful Ozbama saying he’s OK with guys marrying guys and girls marrying girls. I guess I’m OK with it, too, if that’s all there is to it.
I mean, I remember when we were little kids my sister sometimes used to marry her dolls to each other, and they were only dolls. And don’t comic book characters get married? They don’t even exist except in cartoons. I think Bugs Bunny even got married once. Micky and Minnie, Donald and Daisy, Dagwood and Blondie. Those aren’t real folks having real marriages. It’s all make believe.
I remember when I married Gloria Smith. I think I was four. We kissed, made a mud pie wedding cake and then my mother called me in for supper. I never even got to say, “I’m home, Honey. What’s for supper.”
That time. The next time we got married, we did it a little earlier so I could go to work. “What do I do now?” “You go to work silly. Go outside and wait until it’s time to come home.” I went outside and me and Eddie Haviland went looking for salamanders down by the railroad tracks in the drainage ditch. I never came home, never did get to say my line. For all I know we may still be married.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Fred and Bob, Donna and Lobelia, aren’t real. I’m not even hinting that what they want to do is merely imitate folks like Michelle and Obama, and play grown up. No, they love each other with great devotion and tenderness, and would like such things as joint ownership, joint tax returns and medical insurance. But most of all they want to be known as Mr. and, umm, well, as a couple. Which, I think is just fine. That horse has left the barn, anyway.
Let them have the word. After all! It’s only a word, for heaven’s sake. Well, it’s several words, at least; a noun, a verb, an adjective; several parts of grammar: subject, object, predicate, modifier. Nothing more. Right? So, why not give them the use of the word and come up with something else, some nice other word or term? Something that describes the Life Long Covenantal Spousal Relationship Between Persons of the Opposite Sex Which Is the Only Human Relationship Open to Bearing Children Naturally and Raising Them Within the Safety and Security of a Traditional Human Family Where Both Spouses Willingly Accept Traditional and Natural Roles of Nurturing and Support, Cooperate in the Education of Their Children and Vow to Love, Honor and Obey Each Other, Forsaking All Others Until Death Parts Them Tens of Years Hence, God Willing. I know it’s a big word, but if someone can come up with a shorter one, maybe after a sufficiently brief evolution we can get a Presidential endorsement of it and get over this silliness.
I did say silliness, didn’t I. Not that I really meant it, because I know that the people who would like to see a re-definition of marriage are not at all of the same mind about it as I might be. They are dead serious about it; seize the moment, take no prisoners serious. Which is why I am all in favor of letting them have that word for their very own, and any others they want to go along with it.
If , as I said before, if that is all there is to it. About that, though, I wonder.
I’ll let others argue about what marriage should be, or point out that it can’t be whatever we want it to be because. I ain’t smart enough. But this scares me:
About five years ago I went to ameeting in my home town. New Hampshire was considering a law to allow same ses marriages, and a committee was formed to travel the state and gather public input. One of the people on the film, David Parker came and offered his testimony about what was happening in Massachusetts, and how he had been jailed for not wanting it to happen to his children.
That’s the part that scares me. If it’s only about words, who cares. If it’s about more than that, I begin to worry, and I think you should,